What a unique quest this person is embarking on. What huge questions are forming in his (I think it’s a him, but it could be a her) mind. This young searcher is in for quite a journey.
Perhaps a few musings will help.
Number 1: If you’re not already familiar with it, watch Dr Quantum’s nice easy explanation of the famous double slit experiment. Those are electrons he’s talking about. Not just some weird geeky stuff in science labs, but the stuff inside the atoms that YOU are made of.
The important thing to notice is that those electrons are potential – they could fetch up behaving in various ways until (this is the important bit) they are observed.
Once they are looked at, the potential collapses into one single outcome. Their path becomes fixed.
So it is with life.
Our young truth searcher is doing as we all do during adolescence – minutely observing every aspect of his being, thinking and doing; noting the behaviour and responses of everyone around him and searching the media, the neighbourhood and his own imagination for answers to the questions that haunt him.
“Which box do I fit in? How should I be classified? Am I autistic/ gay/ attractive/ overweight/ addicted…?”
Would he listen if I suggested he was all and none of these things? He has limitless potential (well, within certain genetic parameters, obviously – he can’t choose to grow wings or a third leg) but as he observes, all that potential collapses down to become a yes or no answer. His electrons enter this slit or that, rather than neither or both.
The young truth seeker I have in mind is specifically wondering whether he is on the autistic spectrum. There are so many others – young people, parents and teachers asking that question.
There are, as he’s discovered, tests and questionnaires designed to observe the potential and categorise. A precise diagnosis can be obtained. Once he has it, he will have a clear list of his strengths and weaknesses. To be honest, the diagnosis will most probably highlight the perceived weaknesses – the ways in which he can expect to differ from the neurotypical population.
Once he has his label, he will start to function within the box society has provided. A kindly expert will confirm all his innermost doubts and fears about his socialisation skills, his obsessions and single-mindedness. Perhaps he will feel somewhat comforted by this. Perhaps he’ll feel limited and imprisoned. Or both.
All is potential until the choice is made.
Your choices are like cart ruts on a muddy track. The more you select that particular route, the deeper the ruts become, and the harder it is to vary your path and head in a different direction. Certainly they make it easier to travel, but they limit you. Before long, it will take a huge effort to climb out of your rut and negotiate a new direction.
Number 2: You chose your avatar. We all did. In advance of commencing this particular attempt at playing The Game of life, we picked our character. Some vaster aspect of ourselves, which we’ve almost forgotten in our intense concentration on the game we’re playing, selected the start location, the gene pool (parents), the prevailing zeitgeist and sundry other aspects that would make this little character scuttling around the planet into YOU.
If you selected a genetic predisposition for Aspergers, you did it because that was a potential you wished to explore. Think of it like building a character for your favourite role player game on your console, and selecting a particular weapon or strength which will enable you to excel at particular challenges.
Sure, it’s easy for me to say. I’m neurotypical. I don’t do battle every second of my life with a sensory overload that would flatten a tank. I don’t have to avoid eye-contact because I can see so much of you when I look into your eyes that I’m completely overwhelmed. I don’t need ear plugs, sleep masks, alcohol or medication to calm my senses enough to make life almost bearable. I don’t over-analyse every experience and consider the inherent dangers and pitfalls to the point that I’m holed up in my room, terrified to venture out.
Just remember, though, you chose this.
I’m not being callous here – nothing could be further from the truth. You chose it because you are an amazing being. You’re up for this. You have chosen a very different way of experiencing life. You can delve deeper into it than I ever will. You will find truths that I can only dream of.
Number 3: There is a growing number of you, and you are working – alone and collectively – at discovering multi-dimensional aspects of life, while somehow cramming yourselves into a 3D human body.
I believe – and I’ve been pondering this for many years – that you are working to find ways of communicating this to the rest of us, and helping humanity to expand. The language you choose will depend on the strengths and potential you allow yourself. Perhaps you will write, make films, use mathematics or telepathy. All these and more are at your disposal.
Watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNZVV4Ciccg&feature=player_embedded and you’ll begin to see what I mean.
Number 4: I wrote a book about this. It might help. It explores all the ideas here and then some, and I wrote it for you, young truth-seeker. It only contains my truth, of course, which may be completely different to yours, but nonetheless, you may want to explore it.
Click on the book cover if you do.
I wish you success on your quest and I look forward to reading or watching your journey as it unfolds.
Accept Aspergers – or any other label that serves you – but never accept the limitations it tries to place on you.
By all means consult those experts, but NEVER let them collapse your potential.
It’s limitless, and so are you.