Notice the picture. There’s no way I could bear to put an actual photo of a real spider up here. Even this one makes me ever-so-slightly jittery.
So why am I writing a post about spiders, if I’m so terrified of them?
It’s actually a post about manifesting and how easily it can go wrong. All will become clear…
A few weeks ago I read an interesting blog post by a lady called Pam Grout. I found that she appeared to share my take on life and had written a book called E Squared: Nine Do-It-Yourself Energy Experiments That Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality.
Well to be honest, I don’t think I’d have bought a hard copy, since my tiny house is already in imminent danger of subsiding under the weight of volumes it contains, but there was my dear little Kindle sitting beside me, all light and portable, so with that all-too-easy one click, Pam’s extravagant claims were zooming through the ether into my machine.
I’m about half way through it. It’s an interesting book. The genre is midway between Wayne Dyer and Spirituality for Dummies; the style slightly High School Musical in places (I’m trying really hard not to judge the use of ‘Daddy Alby Einstein‘, and failing so far) but there’s some excellent stuff in there and a brilliant range of quotes by all my favourites – William James, Fred Alan Wolf, Amit Goswami, Peter and Eileen Caddy and many more.
So, true to her word, Pam offers a series of simple-to use ‘energy experiments’ designed to banish any lingering doubts about the Law of Attraction. I’m already a convert, but I decided it would be fun to work through them.
Number 1 involved finding evidence for what she calls the FP – an overarching consciousness of some description. I had to give this FP a set amount of time to provide me with something great that incontrovertibly appeared out of the blue. Sounded good, so I put the intention out and waited.
At the start of day two, as if by magic, I woke with not just the title, but the entire layout of my new book lodged in my head. Neat – as Pam might say. I rushed off to scribble it down and returned enthusiastically to my Kindle.
Number 2 was close to my own heart and something I’d written extensively about in Life: A Player’s Guide – the idea that you see exactly what you expect to see. The method was slightly odd. I was supposed to focus on seeing sunset-beige cars. Beige isn’t a colour I readily associate with sunsets, so I was finding this one rather tricky to visualise. Also I’m not a driver and struggle to take any interest in cars, but on the second day I did have to step back hastily when a boy-racer in a beaten-up old car of a rather sickly beige hue came zooming round the corner as I was preparing to cross the road, so I counted that a success.
Number 3 was fun. True, she called it the Alby Einstein Principle, but there was a very clear and well-written account of energy fields and the chapter culminated in using dowsing rods in a way I’d not tried before.
Then came Number 4: manifesting. So now I was on familiar ground. Feeling smugly confident, I read the chapter, nodding and smiling as I went. Yes, this all made sense.
All was going brilliantly until I read her anecdote about a friend who had been so irrationally terrified that one day she would reach into a drawer and close her hands around a huge spider, that one day it actually happened. She’d used the ‘s’ word! Worse yet, she’d used it in the context that whatever we give our attention to, we draw into our lives.
I started to remember how almost exactly that fear had dogged me when I first moved out of the family home and went solo, in my mid fifties – leaving behind a husband and two brave sons who had always done the spider-removing bit while I trembled pathetically in a corner. Now it was down to me.
For the first couple of years, an inordinately large number of great hairy eight-legged beasts would appear in the bath, on the white tiled floor and – once – in my bed!
‘Of course,’ I nodded sagely as I read, ‘I was giving attention to spiders, so spiders appeared. Then I got relatively used to removing them, the terror and attention started to subside and, well, I haven’t had one in the house for around a year now.’
Patting myself on the back, I read on and set about deciding what to manifest within the given two day deadline. Recalling that book sales had been a bit flat recently, I decided to manifest three sales of ‘LIFE’ – paperback or Kindle edition – within the allotted time.
At the end of day 1, I checked to see whether any sales had turned up on Amazon. Nothing so far, but there was another day to go. I kept focusing on the sales.
Day two arrived. Still nothing. Then I went downstairs. Sitting on the front door mat, grinning up at me was – you’ve guessed it – the most massive, full-bodied, terrifyingly angular looking spider I’d ever encountered.
Cursing the Law of Attraction, I fought to control the panic and brushed it out of the door. Then I stood and shook for ten minutes.
The book sales didn’t appear, which taught me about where I’d actually been putting my energy: every time I thought of manifesting the sales, I thought of Pam’s book and that made me think of memorable parts of the book and that made me think of manifesting spiders…
I’ve probably ruined all hope of manifesting positive experience for huge numbers of arachnophobia sufferers now, unless, like me, they are able to use this as a salutary lesson in how often we allow our attention to rest on precisely what we DON’T want to bring into our lives.
I’ll plough on with the second half of Pam’s book, having learned a valuable lesson.
And by the way, I’m not too bothered about the two day deadline, so if anyone would like to purchase a copy of my entirely spider-free book on the purpose of life and manifesting your own reality, please feel free to use that handy one click and bring it into your life!