Death Becomes Me

Paradise: Ascent of the Blessed

I don’t remember dying, or even almost dying.

In fact, so far as I can recall, I’ve been remarkably healthy throughout this lifetime.

Nonetheless, I must have had some sort of NDE, some moment where my life was hanging in the balance, because I wrote the words that follow, and I know them to be a true and accurate reflection of what happened in that moment beyond this physical life.

Knowing that has, naturally, made a tremendous difference to me.  I have no fear of death – not the slightest qualm.  Certainly I would prefer a peaceful, painless transition; who wouldn’t?  But I know that even a death as protracted and incomprehensible as my mother suffered earlier this year has it’s part to play in filling the ‘button box’ of experience.

And that is the second gift these words have made to me – a comfortable certainty that every experience, no matter how it makes me feel in the moment of its genesis, is filling that box and providing me with the raw material that will be of unimaginable value as I move into Oneness.

One day, I feel sure, I’ll include this passage in a book.  But for now, let me share it with you, in the hope that some readers may be as comforted and encouraged by this gentle transition to the next stage as I have been.

Let me also wish you an eventful New Year, brimming over with experience!

I am newly here.  I arrived – when?  Grandfather is here.  He smiles a smile of infinite patience.  Into my mind he places a thought.  It grows there, gently.  It grows like the seedlings he coaxed into life on his allotment back in my childhood.  They grew into flowers for my grandmother or food for our plates.  The thought grows on.

At last I pick it and it becomes mine.  I am newly here.  I know this because I don’t yet understand. 

 He smiles again.  I am right.  He will take me.  Does he touch my arm?  I can’t be sure, but I feel he is guiding me.  There is some pressure drifting me in one direction rather than any other.

 I am gradually growing used to the Light.  As I continue to move forwards, the vibration becomes easier to accept.  A new face almost moves into focus, then blends again with the light, but it is there.  Soon I will see it more clearly.  It smiles.  This smile I know so well.  Now I can make out other figures and some kind of landscape.  There are trees, I think, and maybe a lake.

 We are not walking, but moving as I did in a dream once.  We glide above the ground.  There is contact with it, but only to take soundings, as it were.  It is here as a reference point, but we move independently.  I would be amazed, if I were still capable of amazement; but I am not.

 Grandfather dissolves into the Light and I know he must be elsewhere and I must be here.  I expect to feel panic or fear, but there is none.  The others have merged into the brightness, too.

 I sit beneath a tree.  There is something like grass growing here, and impossibly bright flowers.  As I examine them, they vibrate.  They create sounds.  I feel I have heard these sounds long ago.  I feel that I am home.

 Slowly, softly, in time with my slow and dream-laden thoughts, images appear before me.  I can control their speed and clarity; I can look more closely or move on through them, as I wish.  They tell a story – they tell my life.

 A voice speaks into my heart.  “Take anything you need.  Reject anything that no longer serves you.  It is yours to do with as you will.  You have earned it all.”


 So, just as I used to with my grandmother’s button box, I tip the many-coloured contents of my life onto the ground.  I run my hands through them; gathering the treasured ones, discarding those I have no use for, pondering on some I may or may not choose.  Finally, I have made my selection.  I hold my treasures in my hands.  They glow with an energy that dazzles me and then, as I watch beyond wonder, they blend into me.  I feel myself grow richer, stronger and wiser as they seep into my very essence.

 “It is well done,” says the voice.  “Rest now in justice.  You have my blessing.”

The sleep is deep and healing.  I awake to full remembrance.  I awake to clarity.

For more of my musings on life, death and everything in between, see LIFE: A PLAYER’S GUIDE

Available in paperback and Kindle editions

Available in paperback and Kindle editions

A Brief History of Truth

light body

For many decades, a great number of people have expended energy trying to tell me the truth.

People get so worked up about truth – cling to it, evangelise about it, live by it and die by it.  I think I’m fairly relaxed about mine.  It isn’t as if it’s going anywhere or I need to prove it to anyone.    It just sits, very comfortably inside me as I go about my life.  When I die, I’ll simply take it with me, because it fits there too.

My truth has changed over the years – that’s what the life experience is all about, after all; it allows us to consider and hone and reshape our truth.

I’m going to run through the evolution of my truth in this post, not because I think it’s better than anyone else’s, but because it’s there, and may provide you with a useful comparison for your own.

As a little child, I started with a truth I’d been given by those around me.  It never felt quite right, but when you’re small, you are told to accept what adults tell you, because they know best.  This truth said that if I was ‘good’, I’d go to a place called Heaven when I died, but if I was bad, something not-so-good would happen.  The adults were a bit hazy about that side of things, but I was left in no doubt that it was in my best interests to be good.

I dumped that truth, finally, when I was about 12.  I’m not saying it’s wrong.  It’s a truth that serves millions of people all over the planet.  It just isn’t my truth.

My next truth was a direct result, I suppose, of growing up in the sixties.  Like many of my contemporaries, I became interested in Eastern religions.  I recognised the truth of reincarnation.  I adopted the truth of tit-for-tat karma.  My truth became a desire to build ‘good’ karma for the future and, when I saw people around me behaving in ways I considered to be bad, I’d tell myself they were storing up bad karma and would have to work through that, either in this life or the next.

It took me a few decades to drop that truth.  Again, it serves many, many people, and that’s just fine, but it isn’t my truth.

My next truth could be described as a more nebulous ‘New Age’ way of thinking – ‘What goes around comes around’.  It involved being as pleasant as possible, in the hope that  good deeds would return to me in spadefuls if I hung on for a bit.

English: Santa Claus with a little girl Espera...

Perhaps you’ll have noticed the Santa link in all these truths?  In their various ways, they come back to the same idea – there is ‘good’ and ‘bad’ behaviour.  In some way or another the good behaviour will be rewarded, while probably the badly behaved among us will meet their comeuppance somehow, even if the righteous don’t get the satisfaction of watching it happen.

Maybe it helped that I worked for so many years in that crystal clear microcosm of life, the primary school.  Behaviour there was clearly and rigidly divided into good and bad.  There were rewards and punishments aplenty.  If anything should have convinced me of those truths I’d rejected, surely it was this place.

The trouble was, I didn’t see any ‘bad’ behaviour.

English: Bullying on IRFE in March 5, 2007, th...

Oh I saw acts of vandalism, bullying, emotional cruelty, violence and plenty of blaspheming on a frequent basis, but every single one of the perpetrators was acting from what seemed to them a reasonable viewpoint.  Their behaviour represented the best they could manage, given their experience and outlook.

People bullied, because others had bullied them and it felt like the only way to gain any semblance of self-worth. (Note that I’m not saying it was a ‘good’ way to act, just that it was the best they could manage at that stage in their lives.)

People swore because it provided a release for feelings – ones which might otherwise have resulted in physical damage.

People attacked property as a way of ex-pressing (pressing out of their bodies) frustration and unhappiness.

They attacked others – verbally, emotionally or physically because they couldn’t find any other ways of releasing the emotions seething within themselves.

Many a child ‘acting up’ in my classes was astounded to hear me say, “I’m sorry.  I know you are trying your best to get me to order you out of the classroom.
“I know it’s because you’re desperate to avoid the task I’ve set you.  I understand that you’re frightened you might fail and be laughed at by the others, or told off by me.
“The trouble is, I need you to stay here and master this skill, if I’m to do my job properly. So if the other children will promise to honour your efforts, and if I promise to support you, please will you put the chair down and come and have a try at the work?  You’ll feel so much better when you’ve managed it.”

Throughout our lives, we ALL come up against situations and make the best choices we can, given the circumstances surrounding us.

That leads to my truth as it currently stands.  There is no ‘good’ or ‘bad’.  I have no right to judge the behaviour of others.  I will make choices that feel like the best choices to me at that time.  So will all my fellow humans.  In that way, I will constantly be gaining experience – which is why I’m here – and so will they.

When I end this physical incarnation, I will have the opportunity to add the experience from this lifetime to that of all my other lives.  This will be valuable and will expand my being.  Should I wish to gain some different experiences, I will be free to start a new incarnation and expand still further.

It works for me.

Back to Brave

Courage Is…

I’m feeling a bit proud of myself this week.

When I got an email from the London CwG group organiser, saying they wanted a guest speaker at their December meet-up, I could have come up with plenty of excuses to ignore it.

  • London is a three hour journey from here; in fact that bit of London is closer to four hours
  • I’d have to do the whole round trip in one day, as I absolutely don’t have time for a weekend away
  • The date (14th December) is only a week and a half before Christmas – and I was hopelessly behind with present buying, card writing and so forth
  • I’d already given them a talk about LIFE: A PLAYER’S GUIDE last year, when they hosted my book launch…
  • …So I wasn’t sure what to talk about…

Yeah, OK, that final point isn’t actually true.  The little voice that nags away somewhere inside me and insistently spurs me on to accept challenges and expand my universe was already in full flow.

“Weren’t you bemoaning your cowardice a couple of weeks back?” it asked, with an audible smirk.  “This is your chance.  Offer to talk about your alternative communication.  It’s a great story.  They’ll love it.”

I wasn’t entirely convinced, but that little voice can be ridiculously persuasive, so I made the offer  – and when the reply came that they would like me to speak, I knew that life had given me this opportunity for a reason.

It will be the first time I’ve talked publicly about this subject.  I’ll be summarising the tale of My Left Knee and its sequels (familiar to some of my long-term blog followers) and demonstrating how to communicate with other realms, using a blob of blue tack, a bit of string and a computer keyboard.  (I checked with my Guide, who has promised to come through with a ‘clear message’ but won’t give me any clues about the content!)

I’m holding the intention that at least some people in the room will be able to link to other aspects of consciousness as easily as I do.  It’s an incredible gift and privilege and I’d love to share it.

That, of course, is far more important than fear.

It would be great to see some of my blogging friends there, so if you’re likely to be in London on Saturday afternoon and would like to come along, you can book at the CwG website.

Your Reality Field

Grainy B&W image of supposed UFO, Passoria, Ne...

We’ve been reared on the idea that ‘seeing is believing’.  I’d like you to stop for a moment and consider the possibility that the reverse of this is true.  If we can believe in something – if our imagination is rich enough for us to create the thought – then it has the potential to become a part of our reality.  We can observe it, and we now know what happens to thought waves when we start observing them; their wave function collapses and the energy potential turns from thought into matter.  That seems to imply that we can somehow believe things into existence.

Recently, I went along to a talk on UFOs and aliens.  It isn’t a subject I’ve given a great deal of attention to, but I was interested to hear what was said.  I listened to accounts of sightings and encounters by people with impeccable credentials, apparently free from the influence of banned substances.

In some cases, they had taken clear and unmistakable photographs or video footage.  Other people had aimed cameras towards what they saw, yet captured nothing on film.  A third group had ‘felt’ something strange and, despite not being able to see anything unusual, had taken photos of the scenes, to discover that the ‘invisible’ whatever-it-was showed up on their pictures.

So what is going on here?  Just maybe it is cutting-edge creativity.  What we could be discovering in this example is a group of people at various stages of creating physical manifestations of what they were able to believe in.  Some believed so completely, that there was a physical presence which other people could see; one which could even be filmed or photographed.  Others were at a point somewhere between thought and belief; for them, the UFOs or ETs had a degree of reality.  They were reaching a point where their observation was in the process of turning their thoughts (waves) into matter (particles).

Yes.  I’m saying they ‘made them up’.

Had you worried there for a minute, I expect.  After all, for 21st century humans there is a very clear distinction between real stuff and made-up stuff.  If several of us can see it, poke it, measure it and otherwise observe it, it passes the test and is accepted as reality.  Our Greek, Roman and medieval forebears were far less rigid in deciding what was ‘real’.  After all, their entire belief system was built around divine beings – gods, goddesses and so forth – who could generally not be observed but were nevertheless a hugely important part of their lives.

Statue of Our Lady of Lourdes. The Lourdes app...

So anyway, our UFO observers ‘made up’ the aliens.  A devout young Catholic girl ‘made up’ an encounter with the Virgin Mary at Lourdes.  Many people ‘make up’ encounters with angels, while others ‘make up’ sightings of faeries and other elemental beings.  You ‘make up’ a flat-pack wardrobe or a delicious cake.

Some of these things are within everyone’s belief system – what we might call their reality field.  Some of the others may be within some people’s reality field but outside of yours or mine.  That doesn’t matter.  If we don’t believe in them, we won’t be able to see or otherwise sense them.  They won’t exist for us.  On the other hand, if we use our imagination and creativity, we may be able to control and influence that potential energy source beyond just being a thought, to form it into matter.

So am I saying you make everything up?  Everything?  Even the everyday stuff that everyone else can see as well?


I am.

After all, it’s just a game – and you created it.

The above is an extract from the final part of LIFE: A PLAYER’S GUIDE, the book I wrote and published a little over a year ago.  It’s possibly the most contentious claim in the book, but there are plenty of others to get you thinking and wondering!

If you’d like to read more, or know someone who would enjoy it as a Christmas present, go to this link.  The Kindle edition will be on a special promotion offer from Saturday 7th December 2013.  See previous post for details.