I’d been dreaming – a comfortable, satisfying dream featuring people I love doing useful, good things. Each action, although there were separate little scenes, linked to the rest and I was feeling as if we were really getting somewhere. It was a continuation of the dream I’d had the previous night.
And now I was no longer asleep. Whether I was fully awake, I couldn’t say.
I was – waiting?
That was how it felt.
Waiting for pieces of a puzzle to drop into place. There didn’t seem to be anything I needed to do other than lie there, in that extremely relaxed state and wait for something very wonderful to happen.
Slowly, a delicious glowing sensation began to flow through my mind. It spilled over into my body. I could actually feel those pieces dropping into position, and as each one joined the others, I began to feel better and better.
This was perfect.
This was the answer.
I was buzzing now with a gentle excitement. I knew, with absolute certainty, that the puzzle was solved and I’d been left with the answer to the question that has been my obsession for so long.
“Is that it, then?” I remember thinking, curiously. “I’ve done it. I’ve achieved my soul purpose for this lifetime. Do I die now?”
I didn’t die. I looked at the clock.
“No, of course I don’t die yet!” I chided myself. “I have to write it down. I have to get this down NOW before I fall asleep again.”
Realising how close to sleep I still was, I forced myself to sit up, switched on the bedside light and picked up the pen and journal that always wait patiently beside my bed, for just such a moment as this.
I jotted down everything that had entered my mind. The writing was rough and jerky, but it would do for now. A neater, fuller copy would follow later.
I turned the light off, rolled over, smiled and waited for sleep to return. Instead, my whole body started to radiate the most intense heat. A cold November night, but I flung off the bedclothes and sizzled. It wasn’t unpleasant – just a rush of intense energy.
How long I stayed like that, I have no idea. By 5am I was relaxing again. The next time I checked the clock it was almost 9.
A teaching day, and the house to clear up for my family coming at the weekend. I grinned to myself.
After enlightenment chop wood, carry water.
All day I’ve worked. Now it’s night time and I’m tired, red-eyed, needing to sleep. Still there’s nothing to show for this morning’s adventure beyond the hasty scribblings in my journal…
…and this delicious feeling that this most precious of jewels now sits here inside me.
One day, my friends, I’ll find the right words to share it with you. For now, this must suffice.