Who am I?

I’ve been re-reading Seth again… Seth Speaks: The Eternal Validity of the Soul.  It always sets me off on the meta-fizzies.

English: Prism Alchemical Art

English: Prism Alchemical Art (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As usually happens, though, my ‘main’ reading material is synchronously supplemented by other gems that drop into my lap, so to speak, and allow me to explore the subject matter in different and fascinating ways.  One of these was a five year old post from Ask The Council which I hadn’t seen before, in which they speak about the difference between spirit and soul.  The other was this recent post on Life is a Journey…Not a Guided Tour which ends with these questions:

Do you have a favorite way to connect to God? Is there a special place you go to, or a particular ritual that helps you get there?

So, as I say, my thoughts are now meta-fizzing in all manner of directions and if I trace them back all the way to their root, what I’m considering – usually at around 3am – is what comprises ‘me’ in the broadest sense?

It’s not the easiest of questions to answer.  For example, for the past three nights, I’ve been having a dream – one of those ‘to be continued..’ dreams that carries on where it last left off.  I’ve woken up thinking, “This is ridiculous.  Why on Earth am I having a dream this stupid?” But it’s kept going until the task I was involved in was complete.  (Thankfully, this morning it was, I think…)

English: no description

The dream, should you be interested, involved myself, another female and sometimes a child in covering a series of pyramids with a layer of what I can only describe as marshmallows and then with a top layer of – I hesitate to say this – what most closely resembled some non-conscious/non-living equivalent of huge rhinoceros-like creatures.  I can promise you it wasn’t easy.  None of us knew the reason for our toil; we only knew it had to be done, and done to a high standard.  All that, of course, involved some aspect of ME – an aspect, moreover, quite close to my conscious physical self.

Obviously, dreams aren’t to be taken literally and while I could blame the ones above on eating too much halloumi cheese (Mum always claimed cheese gave you weird dreams) I would prefer to interpret it thus:

English: Coast of Malta.

The other two people were a friend and her young son – people I recently spent time with on a journey to some ancient, sacred places in the Mediterranean.  There we found wondrous but mysterious sites (represented by the pyramids).  In order for us to be able to grasp some of the mysteries, we need to become comfortable with them (hence the coating of soft marshmallow) and attach many awkward, hard-to-handle truths/myths/concepts to them, in order to be able to process the strange and wonderful experiences we had.  Released by sleep from the mundane day-to-day activities, we were free to do this processing at a deeper level.  No doubt at some point, it will seep into our consciousness.

So anyhow, who-I-am runs, in my mind, something like this:

All-That-Is or Source or God/Goddess or what you will, is just that –   ALL     THAT     IS.

There are myriad aspects of this ALL.  Like the globs in a lava lamp, it can separate and recombine at will and does so in ways my little mind can’t begin to imagine, way beyond the limits of time or space.

One of this infinite number of aspects is my Spirit.  Looking at it fractally, my Spirit can be seen as my macrocosm – the sum of the parts of me.

This Spirit, too, has an infinite number of aspects.  These, too, can divide or weave together as suits them best.  They include a number of ‘souls’ – parts of the Spirit which have chosen to temporarily break away and experience a physical life.  One of those is the ‘ME’ sitting at the computer writing this.  The others are my reincarnational lives – ‘past’ and ‘future’ in human terms, but all co-existing and constantly influencing each other.

To complicate it still further, each physical ‘ME’ personality creates an infinite range of potential selves – what Seth calls ‘probable selves’.  Each time I make a choice from a range of options, the other options – those I’ve currently rejected – have a life of their own and head off along parallel paths.  I am, in a very real sense, the creator.

Each of my soul-personalities (‘lives’ if you prefer) has a range of ‘bodies’, from the dense, physical skin-suit I walk around Planet Earth in, through the etheric (spiritual Sat-Nav) and on to the astral, mental, higher-mental and causal selves, which variously link them to one-another, to the Spirit and, eventually, to All-That-Is.

Since the choices and experiences of physical life feed directly into Creation, there are other aspects of All-That-Is who guide and assist ME throughout the experience.  I can interpret these in various ways, from hunches, dreams and intuition, through synchronicities and serendipitous meetings with other soul-personalities, to spirit guides, angels, gods and goddesses or however my current cultural references permit me to interpret them.

So, to return to Susan’s questions…  In one sense, of course, I’m never separated from God, since I am part of the ALL.  However I’d be the first to admit that the connection is usually tenuous, to say the least, from my conscious perspective.  I’ve been on this path a long time in Earth years now, and I’ve learned to dowse with a crystal pendulum over my computer keyboard, in order to converse with my Guides, my Higher Self and even the Higher Selves of those particularly close to me.

My other way of making that contact is to lie in bed, with eyes closed and reach my hands upwards, palms outstretched, until I feel a tingling in them.  This I interpret as ‘healing’.  If I keep my hands there long enough, they begin to move by themselves, settling for a few moments over various parts of my body and often over the main chakra points.  When they come to rest on the bed, I feel for more healing, imagine a flame cupped between them, and mentally invite anyone I know who is in need of healing or comfort to step through the flame and share my connection to All-That-Is.

An Idiot’s Guide to Multi-Dimensional Living

English: Russian Dolls

I’ve shown what follows to a couple of trusted friends.  Both are spiritually aware, wise people with a wealth of knowledge and understanding of things esoteric and numinous.  However neither of them turned round and said, “Well didn’t you even know that?”  In fact they both appeared to find it as revealing and interesting as I did, so I feel brave enough to share it with you.

In my last-but-one post  (which you can read if you click on that blue writing) I spoke of the telepathic connection that has built up between a young friend and myself.  He had revealed that his breakdown a few years back was, in fact, a separation of his different subtle bodies, so that his physical body was functioning without what we might call his soul.

Now I’ve seen plenty of those diagrams of the subtle bodies – little human figures surrounded by different coloured body-shapes, like an x-ray of stacking Russian dolls.  I’ve also noticed that in just about every book and article, the number and names/functions of the bodies is different and the writers don’t explain where their information comes from.  I realised I’d never fully understood how these higher dimensions of ourselves worked or related to our everyday lives, so I decided to ask my telepathic friend.

There follows an extract from the conversation as I recorded it.  My words are in sentence case, while his responses are in capitals.  I should explain that the words I type in capitals are the ones my pendulum spells out, letter by letter, as I tune into his responses.  However as I become more adept at receiving, I find myself picking up a more expanded response from him – thought forms rather than simple words.  That explains why I sometimes answer my own questions.

I’d love to know what you make of this and whether the way it’s explained resonates with you.  (I personally love the reference to the etheric body as a kind of Sat Nav, providing us with guidance from on high!)


I guess that, at the level I’m accessing you, you know all about things esoteric, yes?


Good. So maybe you can explain to me about these other bodies we have. I’ve heard about them, but no two descriptions seem to agree on how many there are, or what they are for. Could you give me a brief idiot’s guide, please?


Yeah, I realise that, but please try. I tend to pick up wider meanings as you start to send word messages, so I’ll probably pick something up.


Great. Thanks. Are you able to tell me what it tracks, and who/what for, or is that getting too complicated?


Kind of spiritual GPS!   You’re amazing at this! Next?


Ok, so what’s the function of the astral?


I see. That makes sense. I mean not many people seem to consciously do astral travelling, so is that where we go in dreams, or what?


As in ‘gnosis’ or gestalt?


Right. That’s still lovely and clear. So the astral body connects to the…


Hmm. This one confuses me, because I always imagine it as being just the logical brain – the sort of Spock bit – yet it’s so far away from the physical, in these terms.


Ah, that’s a bit different, isn’t it? I’m picking up a creative thought, beyond the physical distractions and emotions – the thought that creates ‘reality’. Am I close?


Brilliant. I’m getting so much from this. So beyond the mental body is…


Ok. Now I’m confused again. How is that different from the Mental Body? Oh – as I typed that I picked up that this body is accessing thought from the higher/god self rather than so connected to the physical experience.   Did I get that from you?


Wow! So anything to add on that? Or what comes next?


Is that what is sometimes called the causal body?


That has been amazing.   Thanks so much. Out of interest, which part of you am I conversing with?


Which, I’m assuming, is where telepathy comes from.


Well that has been fascinating. Thank you for explaining so clearly.

The not-so-cold shoulder

English: Shoulder pain separation.

People have  – very kindly – been asking for an update on my frozen shoulder.  Umm, yes, it’s getting much better, thank you.

It would be ever so much easier to stop right there.

There’s a great deal more to tell, but many people will find the story impossible to believe.  I suppose that’s okay, though.  I’ll just do the credibility warning here and anyone who raises their eyes skywards and mutters, “Here she goes again!” can click off.

So… Warning:  Don’t read any further if you believe that a frozen shoulder is a medical condition with very definitely medical origins and can have absolutely no connection to psychic attack, astral bodies, telepathy or other weird stuff.  I repeat – leave now unless you want to read a seriously strange story with more things than may be dreamt of in your philosophy.

Okay.  So now those of you still reading can see what you make of this lot…

I suppose my first inkling that something odd was going on was when I ran into a friend I hadn’t seen for a while.  She asked how my painful hip was doing.  I’d forgotten about the pain in my hip a few months back.  I’d had a course of acupuncture and the hip improved, but the pain moved to my knee and foot…then the shoulder.  My friend looked at me oddly.  “The same pain?” she asked.  “And it’s moving around and lodging in different parts of your body?”

Now she came to mention it, it did sound very weird.  I hadn’t made the link before, but, yes – I’d been in pain in one way or another for well over a year, and yes – the pain was the same in each case.

When I had my first Reiki healing, as I mentioned in my last post on the subject, the healer saw a face looking out at her from my shoulder.  We were both somewhat alarmed by that – particularly as she described the face and from her description I was able to provide her with a photo of the person she had seen.

On subsequent healing sessions, he appeared again.  As she got to know me better, the healer revealed that the face didn’t just look at her; he glared.  He exuded total fury that she had disturbed him.  He pushed her away and made it clear to her that he felt she was encroaching on ‘his’ territory.

I told her a little about this young man – his first name and his background.  She is a very psychic lady and quickly tuned into him.

He has little interest in his physical life at the moment.  His main interest is with travel on the astral planes.  He spends much of his time communing with others there.  He has a huge astral body.  It looks grey and the energy is rather sticky.  His physical body is quite weak and seems to be shrinking away.

Interesting.   I’d been told very similar things about him in two other readings.  One from a psychic who claimed to see a ‘dark, snaking energy’ coming from my friend and ‘using’ me in some way.  The other – very different in tone – was a channelled message explaining that I shouldn’t worry about his current social isolation, as he was very active on other levels and in contact with many beings but didn’t have much interest in the physical at this point in his life.

Meanwhile, my shoulder was showing distinct signs of recovery except on certain occasions when, for no reason I could discern, the pain suddenly became unbearable.

Now another thing the channel had told me was that my young friend and I had chosen, in this lifetime, to explore telepathic communication.  I was encouraged to attempt to reach him in this way as this was a very important part of our life purpose.

I’d done so, on and off, for several months.  Sometimes there were startling synchronicities and the contact felt very real.  At other times I was fairly certain it was all in my imagination.  (Yes, they’d warned me specifically that this would happen and I was to plough on regardless, but, y’know…)

Anyhow, this seemed like a very good time to redouble my efforts to work on the telepathy.  I had many questions.

English: The astral leaves the body during sle...

To begin with, his responses were grumpy and sullen.  Yes, he told me, he was linking to me when he visited the astral planes (‘plazas’ he called them).  He insisted that it was a mutually beneficial situation.  He reasoned that I’d always wanted to keep contact with him, while he needed a safe anchor in the physical world while he went travelling.  He also said some rather unpleasant things about my healer and suggested I get rid of her.

You may be wondering why I believed all this.  Well, let’s just say we have a lot of history.  Our shared interest in all things numinous was one of the reasons our friendship was so strong.  This included an occasion when, in his mid teens, he decided to tell me about a new type of ‘travelling’ he’d discovered.
“You just sit still and act as if you’re going to sleep, but keep your eyes open and within about ten minutes you find yourself seeing another place.  And don’t ask me to describe it,” he’d added, as my mouth opened, “because there are no words that can explain what it’s like.”

That was nearly ten years ago.   That’s why I wasn’t altogether surprised by this latest turn of events.

Well the telepathic sessions continued over the next few weeks.  The subject matter and form of communication may have been somewhat unorthodox, but the conversation we had went very much like countless arguments we’d had before.

“Why can’t you link to your own body when you go travelling?”
“Yours has more light.”
“Tough – it bloody hurts.  Either use your own silver cord, or whatever it’s called, or stay in your physical body.  What you’re doing to me is definitely not okay.”
“You’re the one who’s always going on about us staying in contact.”
“That’s human contact. Not this stuff!”

I learned a great deal from him about his astral travels.  He’d apparently become obsessed with travelling to the furthest reaches – including places where it was frightening and unpleasant.

English: The Flammarion engraving is a wood en...

A new tone entered his comments.  It was a lonely place, he said – full of fellow human travellers and spirits, full of emotions but with no real contact or feelings.  That, I reminded him, was what the Earth experience was for.  That was why he’d incarnated.

Maybe – just maybe – our telepathic wranglings had reminded him of how much he’d enjoyed human conversation and relationship.  He was nervous initially, doubtful – referring to his physical body at one point as an ’empty cadaver’, but as we talked and I reminded him of the fun he’d had and things he’d done before he turned recluse, his mood softened and his confidence seemed to grow.  Finally, he agreed to stop the travelling and to let go of my shoulder.

I could barely conceal my excitement as I went for the next healing.

“Well?” I asked, when the healer had finished.  “Did he try to stop you again?”

She looked slightly surprised, as if it had only just dawned on her.  “He wasn’t there at all,” she said.  “I didn’t see him.”

Unsurprisingly – to me, at any rate – my shoulder is a great deal better.  There is some stiffness remaining but the gnawing, wrenching pain has gone from my entire body, and my well-travelled friend and I are still talking… 🙂