A Small Step for Me-kind

English: Tibetan endless knot Nederlands: Tibe...

What is me-kind?  Well in my philosophy – gleaned mainly from the Seth Materials and backed up by the intuitiony bit inside that says, ‘Yeah, that feels right,’ – the overarching personality that I understand as ‘me’ has had/ is having/ will have many lives or incarnations.  These all, obviously, take place in different historical times and geographical locations.  I’m reasonably sure I have, for example, had ‘past’ lives in Egypt as a slave girl, Europe as a survivor of a Viking raid, Atlantis as a teacher and Glastonbury as a mage and Ice Age chieftain’s daughter.

I’ve encountered these alternative ‘me’s in dreams, past life regressions and psychic readings.  I’ve discovered individuals who play key parts in my present life cropping up in those lives too.  All this is fairly standard reincarnational theory as it tends to be interpreted here in the West, in metaphysical circles, at any rate.

Seth takes it further though.  From a vantage point beyond physical existence, Seth takes time out of the equation.  Past, present and future lives, from that perspective, not only happen in the one, unfolding eternal moment beyond our Earthly concept of time, but affect one another.  A discovery in one life can and will affect what happens in another.  An intractable problem may cause us – with help from our soul family – to set up another life, with the express purpose of finding a solution.  Slightly mind-bending, I’ll grant you, but worth considering.

Auguste Rodin: L'Âge d'airain (The Age of Bron...

Auguste Rodin: L’Âge d’airain (The Age of Bronze), life-sized plaster cast, c. 1876.

Take my feet, for example.  Well don’t.  You wouldn’t want them – honestly.  They have been causing me grief and problems for many years.  There’s nothing physically wrong with them, but they’ve usually felt numb and icy cold, or they could ache and burn and the skin just felt too tight.  In recent years I haven’t been a confident walker.  I’m scared of slipping or falling on uneven ground; I tend to shuffle rather than stride.  Most of all – and this sounds terribly strange, I know – they just haven’t felt as if they belong to me.


This image depicts a Reiki treatment in progre...

Now over the last few weeks, I’ve been attending Reiki healing sessions with a lady who wanted case studies for her Reiki 2 training.  I’ve had some strange experiences during Reiki sessions in the past, so I wasn’t altogether surprised when she asked whether I’d ever broken any bones in my foot.  I hadn’t.

“It’s odd then,” she said.  “I had this very clear image of just about every bone in your left foot being smashed and broken.  Horrible.”

In the time between that and my next healing, she’d been back and discussed this with her teacher.  He’d told her not to share random visions and images with clients, as all sorts of things could enter the mind whilst giving Reiki.  He instructed her only to talk about them if they kept reappearing throughout the session and were particularly strong and persistent.

“But this one WAS,” she explained to me, at the end of our next session.  “This time I saw your feet bound – really tightly.  It was like those poor Chinese women, you know?”

The so-called "Lily feet" (right) co...

I shuddered.  Yes, that would explain every one of the painful and uncomfortable sensations I’d had in my feet.  It would explain my difficulties with walking and my fear of falling.  ‘Past life?’ we both wondered.  It seemed very likely.  Seth talks about ‘bleed-throughs’ from one of our lives to another.  I needed more information.

As usual, I went to discuss it with Koimul, my ever present and patient Guide, whom I can reach via dowsing over a keyboard.  Here’s the discussion we had, partly dowsed and partly received telepathically:

Do I have a ‘past’ life in which my feet are bound, as in Chinese culture?


That explains so much about the way they sometimes feel, but why are those pains bleeding through into this life? I’m assuming it has something to do with being controlled and dominated?


And I’ve done it, yes?


So why does the foot pain persist?


And now I have done so…


Was D my husband in that life?


Hmm. It explains so much. Can what I’ve done in this life help the ‘me’ in that other life?


But in her dreams she can know freedom and walk in my feet?


May I know her name?


Interesting, eh?  One final synchronicity:

I went to bed that night wondering about Xang and her life.  Just before I feel asleep, I saw a very clear image of a building with a low stone wall in front and a small dog running along outside.  It was so vivid, I was fully awake and wondering what it meant.  I immediately saw the same vision again.  The next day, I decided to Google bound feet.  The first link I clicked on was a video made by a lady who had travelled to China and found some elderly women whose feet had been bound as children.  The opening scene of the film was exactly the image I’d seen the night before.

And yes, my feet are feeling much better now.





The not-so-cold shoulder

English: Shoulder pain separation.

People have  – very kindly – been asking for an update on my frozen shoulder.  Umm, yes, it’s getting much better, thank you.

It would be ever so much easier to stop right there.

There’s a great deal more to tell, but many people will find the story impossible to believe.  I suppose that’s okay, though.  I’ll just do the credibility warning here and anyone who raises their eyes skywards and mutters, “Here she goes again!” can click off.

So… Warning:  Don’t read any further if you believe that a frozen shoulder is a medical condition with very definitely medical origins and can have absolutely no connection to psychic attack, astral bodies, telepathy or other weird stuff.  I repeat – leave now unless you want to read a seriously strange story with more things than may be dreamt of in your philosophy.

Okay.  So now those of you still reading can see what you make of this lot…

I suppose my first inkling that something odd was going on was when I ran into a friend I hadn’t seen for a while.  She asked how my painful hip was doing.  I’d forgotten about the pain in my hip a few months back.  I’d had a course of acupuncture and the hip improved, but the pain moved to my knee and foot…then the shoulder.  My friend looked at me oddly.  “The same pain?” she asked.  “And it’s moving around and lodging in different parts of your body?”

Now she came to mention it, it did sound very weird.  I hadn’t made the link before, but, yes – I’d been in pain in one way or another for well over a year, and yes – the pain was the same in each case.

When I had my first Reiki healing, as I mentioned in my last post on the subject, the healer saw a face looking out at her from my shoulder.  We were both somewhat alarmed by that – particularly as she described the face and from her description I was able to provide her with a photo of the person she had seen.

On subsequent healing sessions, he appeared again.  As she got to know me better, the healer revealed that the face didn’t just look at her; he glared.  He exuded total fury that she had disturbed him.  He pushed her away and made it clear to her that he felt she was encroaching on ‘his’ territory.

I told her a little about this young man – his first name and his background.  She is a very psychic lady and quickly tuned into him.

He has little interest in his physical life at the moment.  His main interest is with travel on the astral planes.  He spends much of his time communing with others there.  He has a huge astral body.  It looks grey and the energy is rather sticky.  His physical body is quite weak and seems to be shrinking away.

Interesting.   I’d been told very similar things about him in two other readings.  One from a psychic who claimed to see a ‘dark, snaking energy’ coming from my friend and ‘using’ me in some way.  The other – very different in tone – was a channelled message explaining that I shouldn’t worry about his current social isolation, as he was very active on other levels and in contact with many beings but didn’t have much interest in the physical at this point in his life.

Meanwhile, my shoulder was showing distinct signs of recovery except on certain occasions when, for no reason I could discern, the pain suddenly became unbearable.

Now another thing the channel had told me was that my young friend and I had chosen, in this lifetime, to explore telepathic communication.  I was encouraged to attempt to reach him in this way as this was a very important part of our life purpose.

I’d done so, on and off, for several months.  Sometimes there were startling synchronicities and the contact felt very real.  At other times I was fairly certain it was all in my imagination.  (Yes, they’d warned me specifically that this would happen and I was to plough on regardless, but, y’know…)

Anyhow, this seemed like a very good time to redouble my efforts to work on the telepathy.  I had many questions.

English: The astral leaves the body during sle...

To begin with, his responses were grumpy and sullen.  Yes, he told me, he was linking to me when he visited the astral planes (‘plazas’ he called them).  He insisted that it was a mutually beneficial situation.  He reasoned that I’d always wanted to keep contact with him, while he needed a safe anchor in the physical world while he went travelling.  He also said some rather unpleasant things about my healer and suggested I get rid of her.

You may be wondering why I believed all this.  Well, let’s just say we have a lot of history.  Our shared interest in all things numinous was one of the reasons our friendship was so strong.  This included an occasion when, in his mid teens, he decided to tell me about a new type of ‘travelling’ he’d discovered.
“You just sit still and act as if you’re going to sleep, but keep your eyes open and within about ten minutes you find yourself seeing another place.  And don’t ask me to describe it,” he’d added, as my mouth opened, “because there are no words that can explain what it’s like.”

That was nearly ten years ago.   That’s why I wasn’t altogether surprised by this latest turn of events.

Well the telepathic sessions continued over the next few weeks.  The subject matter and form of communication may have been somewhat unorthodox, but the conversation we had went very much like countless arguments we’d had before.

“Why can’t you link to your own body when you go travelling?”
“Yours has more light.”
“Tough – it bloody hurts.  Either use your own silver cord, or whatever it’s called, or stay in your physical body.  What you’re doing to me is definitely not okay.”
“You’re the one who’s always going on about us staying in contact.”
“That’s human contact. Not this stuff!”

I learned a great deal from him about his astral travels.  He’d apparently become obsessed with travelling to the furthest reaches – including places where it was frightening and unpleasant.

English: The Flammarion engraving is a wood en...

A new tone entered his comments.  It was a lonely place, he said – full of fellow human travellers and spirits, full of emotions but with no real contact or feelings.  That, I reminded him, was what the Earth experience was for.  That was why he’d incarnated.

Maybe – just maybe – our telepathic wranglings had reminded him of how much he’d enjoyed human conversation and relationship.  He was nervous initially, doubtful – referring to his physical body at one point as an ’empty cadaver’, but as we talked and I reminded him of the fun he’d had and things he’d done before he turned recluse, his mood softened and his confidence seemed to grow.  Finally, he agreed to stop the travelling and to let go of my shoulder.

I could barely conceal my excitement as I went for the next healing.

“Well?” I asked, when the healer had finished.  “Did he try to stop you again?”

She looked slightly surprised, as if it had only just dawned on her.  “He wasn’t there at all,” she said.  “I didn’t see him.”

Unsurprisingly – to me, at any rate – my shoulder is a great deal better.  There is some stiffness remaining but the gnawing, wrenching pain has gone from my entire body, and my well-travelled friend and I are still talking… 🙂

And meanwhile, here’s me, getting the cold shoulder

Cold Shoulder

Cold Shoulder (Photo credit: smkybear)

I’m not sleeping.

Well, I say that.  Obviously some sleep goes on.  I’d estimate 2-3 hours a night – 4 on a really good one.  That isn’t deep, refreshing, all-at-once sleep, though.  I doze off for 40 minutes or so and then there’s the painful awakening.  I writhe and twist, gyre and gimble (Lewis Carroll, Jabberwocky – I’m a massive fan) and vainly attempt to get some relief from the pains that are shooting down my back, my arm and up into my neck and head.

Eventually I get up and wander off to the bathroom or pace around the house for a while, before collapsing back on to the bed and waiting for the discomfort to return to a sleep-throughable level.  That can take hours; it usually does.

I have, I’m told, a ‘frozen shoulder‘.  It’s the most ridiculous ailment; even the doctor admitted as much.  The information sheet he gave me reads like something Lewis Carroll himself might have penned.  For reasons no one can discern, the shoulder becomes increasingly painful and stiff over a period of months.  This is, apparently, the ‘Freezing Stage’.  Seriously.

Mobility may be affected, it says.  My shoulder has definite and ever-expanding no-go areas.  They include behind and up.  Stray into them by mistake and the pain starts small and takes up to five minutes to develop a vice-like intensity that has me gasping for breath.

The pain is frequently worse at night, it says.  Hell, yeah.  As described above.

So what do I have to look forward to?  Apparently next comes the ‘Frozen Stage’.  I can expect less pain but the same level of stiffness and lack of movement.  That, it tells me, will typically last between 18 months and 3 years.  After that – you’ve guessed it – there is a ‘Thawing Stage’.  A year or two more for it to subside and disappear as quietly as it arrived and I will be back to normal.  Physiotherapy and painkillers are offered, more to placate the GP’s feelings of helplessness than to make any difference to the condition, he agreed.

I’ve already tried deep tissue massage and acupuncture, to no avail.  Since there’s no medical reason, and since I tend towards the Louise Hay view of dis-ease in any case, I opted for some Reiki.

Now this is where it gets seriously weird.

Reiki symbol1

I went to a Reiki practitioner I’d only met a week or two before.  She knew very little about me and I knew very little about Reiki.  I sat for a long time listening to pleasant music while the healing took place.

When she’d finished, she came to sit with me, looking rather shocked and puzzled.

“I saw a face,” she told me.  “He was right here.”  She motioned the front of my shoulder.  “He was looking straight at me.”

Like I say, this lady didn’t know me well, or any of the people in my life.  I asked her if she could describe the person she’d seen.  As she did so, I started to realise who it was.

I went to fetch a photo.  “Is this the person you saw?”

She gasped and nodded.  “The hair was a bit different, but that was exactly the face.”

Well that made sense.  The photo is about five years old.  It’s of someone who has played a huge part in my life; someone I helped, mentored and loved for many years.  And then, little by little, he moved out of my life and stopped responding to letters, calls and emails.  He’s given me, you could say, the cold shoulder…


Of course, as I’ve said many times before in my blog, I don’t believe others cause us pain.  I believe we allow ourselves to feel pain in response to the way they act.  My Guide explained it to me in this way:

What if I stick a knife in someone.  Surely then I will hurt that person – cause their pain?
And what causes the pain?

Fortunately, my Reiki healer had another strategy for me.  She told me to smile into my body – giving a smile of love and gratitude to each part of my body in turn – and to linger on that shoulder, giving it extra love.

English: Smile

Oh how right she is!   I don’t intend to wait years for my shoulder to thaw.  I’ll see if that smile, and any others I can collect, can defrost it.

All smiles gratefully received 🙂