When My Two Worlds Collide

Summer is the time I connect with family.  Some come to stay with me, while I head off to stay with others.  It’s been a crazy few weeks of checking dates and train times, bustling about, packing and unpacking, making up beds and sorting menus.

Space, Universe, Outer Space, PlanetThat’s not the hard bit, though.  The hard bit is trying to live between my two worlds.  It’s been harder than ever this year.

My accustomed world is here – full of long, rambling, enlightening conversations with like-minded souls, either in person or on my computer.  We ponder the metaphysical and wonderful, the numinous and semi-visible, the psychic and arcane.  There are conversations over coffee about sacred geometry.  There are conversations over Whatsapp about probability.  There are articles about consciousness to read and references to check and ideas to share.  Even as the mundane carries on around me, my mind rarely strays far from this world.

In the other world there are grandchildren and aunts, cousins, sons and daughters.  We go out for meals, wander the grounds of stately homes, discuss jobs and houses, share memories and plans, sightsee and chatter.

I can manage both.  I enjoy both.  I need both.  But they are mutually exclusive.  I’ve learned – the hard way – to keep them well apart; yet this year they moved too close for comfort.

I was trying to work on both levels at once with an elderly relative.

Figure, Man, Stand, Back Pain, SciaticaThis amazing lady has enjoyed excellent health and vitality for almost 90 years.  She still lives independently and works – a complex, computer-based job that requires a flexible mind and sharp intellect.  Just recently, though, she’s been in tremendous pain.  Her physiotherapist seemed unable to help.  Pills, Medicine, Medication, MedicalThe GP arranged blood tests and X-rays, shrugged and put her on 30 tablets a day (a terrifying mix of painkillers, along with all the pills to cancel out the side-effects of the others) and told her not to sit for more than 20 minutes at a time.  She’s 89!  She still had the pain.  She had to give up driving because of all the tablets and she was – understandably – at the end of her tether.

From my accustomed world, my response was to send her distant healing and to ask my friend Will (a splendid medical intuitive) what was causing the pain.  Armed with only her name and a rough geographical location, he correctly identified the affected area and told me the pain was caused by bones in her back ‘breaking down or weakening’ and that there was something wrong in the stomach or lower torso area which might or might not be linked to this.

In the other world, I arranged to go and spend some time staying with this relative, told her a friend’s mum had symptoms similar to hers and used that to share the diagnosis Will had given, and discussed not-too-wacky alternative treatments, such as acupuncture.

Acupuncture, Herbs, AlternativeIt all went well to start with.  Like me, she has a deep distrust of Western medicine’s way of papering over the cracks, so decided to cut down on the painkillers except for the ones that seemed to be helping slightly.  She made an appointment with an acupuncturist and demanded an appointment at a pain clinic.  Her results came back from the doctor.  Osteoarthritis.  All other results normal.  “Oh good,” she said, “I had been worried that it could be cancer, because I do have some digestive problems.”

Full marks to Will!

Then she looked very hard at me, with those piercing, alert eyes and said, “But what is it YOU are doing?  Ever since you arrived, I’ve felt so much better.  The pain is far less.  It’s getting better by the day.  I think you must have some sort of – magic.”

She wasn’t joking.  It wasn’t a trite remark.  She was puzzled and confused and she wanted to understand.

What was I supposed to say?  My family don’t do weird.  They don’t believe in energies, psychic phenomena, anything that can’t be seen, poked and physically examined.  I tried a bit of logical common sense:  ‘You probably feel more relaxed having someone else around the place.  Chatting with me takes your mind off the symptoms and so you’re not dwelling on them like you do when you’re alone.’
All true.  All acceptable.  But she didn’t accept it.

“Yes, maybe so,” she said impatiently, “But that’s not what I mean.  When you’re around me, I can feel something happening in my body and it’s really making a difference.  Explain that!”

 

Meditation, Spiritual, Yoga, MeditatingSo, feeling deeply uncomfortable, I explained aspects of my world to her.  I told her that, to my way of thinking, we are far more than our bodies and brains.  I told her I believed that when we get out of balance in some way – too tense or anxious or angry or lonely, for example – it can spill over into the body and cause physical symptoms.  I told her I believed that we can send healing energy to one another by using loving thoughts and clear intention, and that that was what I’d been doing in the days before I’d arrived and – in a more focused way – now that I was there.

She was very quiet for a very long time.

“And there’s more that you’re not telling me,” she finally said.  “There are other things you can do, aren’t there?”

I told her I’d probably said far more than I should.

“You know you’d have been burnt as a witch if you’d lived a couple of hundred years ago?”

I nodded and suddenly the tension was broken we both laughed.

“Well I don’t pretend to understand,” she sighed, “But please keep doing it.  It helps.”

So I do.

 

 

 

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The Book of Caw

Book, Story, Fairy TaleI was woken this morning – as I am almost every day – by Caw.  And I knew, suddenly, that the Book of Caw needs to be written.  Maybe by me, maybe by someone else.  Who can say?  All I know is that the image of The Book of Caw is lodged in my mind now and the only thing that will move it on is for me to start writing.

So what is Caw? I imagine you asking.  (And why are sentences – proper ones – so elusive this morning? I ask myself.  Probably because the words are coming from somewhere where punctuation doesn’t hold sway.  I’ve visited that somewhere quite a bit recently, which would explain a lot.)

OK.  An easy way out of the definition conundrum would be to say something like, ‘Caw is Oneness, or All That Is’.   That, though, is so all-encompassing as to be almost devoid of meaning for us – a bit like asking someone to imagine an infinite universe…  Fortunately, Caw can be explored in many ways, and each of them helps us to discover more of the truths behind the truism, and to apply them to what we know of our own existence.

Say the word aloud, and you will immediately have one of it’s aspects – Caw is core.  It lies at the very heart of every facet of existence.  It’s the point we come back to, after our little forays into the game of materiality.  We have Caw strength at the centre of our existence.  It’s unmoving, solid, steadfast and entirely dependable, yet it will flow with us, wherever we go.  (Yes, there’s a paradox there – the first of many.  Always think ‘and’ rather than ‘or’ with Caw.)

If it were an acronym, CAW could be formed from, perhaps, Consciousness Applying Will.  In that sense, it is placing intention into consciousness – or vice versa – in order to manifest or create.  That, after all, is how our miniverse here is fabricated.

Animal, Beak, Bird, Black, Claw, CrowLet’s stop metafizzing, briefly, and bring Caw into our familiar material world.  As I said at the start, Caw wakes me each morning.  It is the sound of the corvids – the rooks and jackdaws and magpies that restlessly circle  my cottage, squawking to one another, playing some complex aerial game of tag and scattering black feathers in my garden.  I won’t even begin to delve into the folklore that surrounds this family of birds, but it’s found all around the world.  They are mysterious, intelligent, cunning and wise.  Certainly not light and fluffy.  They have a gravitas that commands attention and respect, verging on fear at times.  Caw is all that.

Chess, Rook, Castle, Piece, GameCaw is the rook on the chessboard, too.  Sometimes hiding in the corner, biding its time; sometimes castling – not afraid to reveal itself in order to protect what is of the most value.  Then, when the time is right, striking suddenly – covering vast distances in a dead straight line to get to the core of the action.  Caw is that too.

Caw is gnosis, knowing, deep knowledge that comes from a point of insight and certainty.  It is not born of opinion or consideration.  It is not gradually acquired through study.  It is our direct link to the Akasha and it comes in instant flashes.  Once recognised, we know – absolutely and with utter certainty – that this is right.  It cannot be any other way.

That is in no way an exhaustive account of Caw.  Other aspects will occur to you, and they will all be valid, but I will let that serve as an introduction.

 

To work with Caw, we need to dispense with a few sacred cows.  We need to try to rid ourselves of:

  • cause and effect
  • common sense
  • rationality

There is, of course, nothing wrong with any of them, except that they only work in 3D.  They only apply to the mechanistic model of the universe we built for ourselves with our cosmic construction set.

To work with Caw, we need to put aside that much-loved toy and move into reality.  It is Caw that will lead us there.

 

Trying to Re-Member

There’s a group I attend from time to time here in my town.  Each week they provide cups of every kind of herbal tea you can imagine, biscuits or cake, and a speaker.  The talks range over many areas and subjects, but they must always be positive.  That seems to be the only rule.

Abstract, Background, Pattern, ArtisticI’d never heard of that night’s speaker, but his subject was ‘The Eight Elements’ and partly because I’d been pondering on elements for quite a while and partly because he was speaking as a follower of Krishna – a Truth quite new to me – I decided to go along.

The gentleman stood calmly before us, looked around the room at the sea of faces and announced, with total certainty, “I’m not the only person in this room who has been to the breaking point.  I’m not alone in having reached a point in my life where everything I lived for, everything I believed, everything I cared about was swept away, leaving me lost, broken and utterly alone.”

All around the room, heads nodded slowly, solemnly, mine included.

The talk was excellent.  Krishna’s take on the elements was oddly familiar and linked in well with the Egyptian, Greek, Shamanic, Medieval and alchemical ideas I’d been reading and thinking about.  What I was left with above all, though, was that idea of the breaking point – the need to go through what feels at the time to be a crisis, a disaster, a destruction of all you’ve held dear.  It is the tower card in the tarot – the card I used to fear above all others, back in the days when my life was settled and sorted (although very far from perfect).

I thought of the many friends and family members I’ve seen hit that point, whether through a sudden incapacitating illness, a financial meltdown, a job loss, a relationship breakup or what’s commonly called a nervous breakdown.  Often – as in my own case – it’s a mixture of several of these.  Like the body of Osiris, we are broken up, hacked into pieces and scattered in the waters of Life.

Shell, Broken, Empty, Close, LeaveThere follows a time of the most awe-ful emptiness.  We shut down.  We exist from moment to moment, day to day, with no clear idea of how or why we are still functioning.  This is the time we need to hide away, to withdraw from everyone and everything, knowing at some instinctive level that we require peace, and that healing will eventually flow from this.

Despite the kindness and ministrations of others, there’s ultimately only one place that healing can come from.  It comes from within.  It comes from our soul-selves – the part of us that is, and has always been, whole and complete.  Slowly and painfully, we begin to re-member ourselves – to put ourselves back together.  This time, though, we will be different.  We will have shed the limiting beliefs that we are not complete without money/ health/ family/ possessions/ career/ home/ friends or whatever we relied upon for stability and identity in the past.  That’s not to say we won’t regain or rediscover some of these, but they will no longer take centre stage.

Now we will have re-membered who we truly are.  We will recognise that we are whole and complete in ourselves.  We are not – primarily – parent or employee, partner or owner.  We are infinite aspects of the great I AM and as such, we have no limits.

“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self. Therefore, trust the physician and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility.”

Kahlil Gibran: The Prophet

 

Ity – What is it without the Real?

True story:

A man using a phone Box, in the city of Melbou...

Once when I was a teacher, I received a phone call from the father of a child I taught.  The man was clearly in a state of the most acute distress.  He told me that his wife had been diagnosed with incurable cancer, that she was about to undergo a double mastectomy but this would only prolong her life slightly.  He said he’d done his best to explain the situation to their children and asked whether I would keep a special eye on the little lad in my class and give him as much support as I could.  Naturally, I agreed and offered my sympathy.

A week later, I had a second phone call – from the man’s wife this time.  She told me they had been to see the consultant together.  She had said she wished to have the operation as a precautionary measure, since her mother, sister and several other female relatives had died from breast cancer.  The consultant had made it quite clear that she had no trace of the disease and was entirely healthy.  However he agreed to her request.  Her husband, she told me, had completely misunderstood the situation.  She apologised for the confusion caused by the call I’d received from him and emphasised that she was in perfect health.

Chatting the situation through later with a colleague who was an experienced psychiatrist, I asked how on earth two people, sitting in the same room and hearing the same words could come away with such diametrically different ideas of what had taken place.
“Oh it happens more often than you would believe,” she replied. “Everyone brings their own expectations to the table.  I’ve sat in more meetings than you can imagine where people are simply unable to see beyond their own preconceptions into anything approaching an objective reality.”

So do we do that?  Do we bend reality through the filters of our own experience and world view, so that we end up believing – totally and utterly – our own warped version of events?  It would seem so.  Yet after pondering this subject for many years, a new thought occurred to me.  Is there actually an objective ‘reality’ out there at all?  Is there some logical, rigidly defined Truth which we all recognise to a greater or lesser degree but can only see imperfectly?  What if there is only some wavering, constantly shifting state which we are not perceiving but creating with all those preconceptions and ideas?

It’s remarkably difficult to let go of the concept of reality.  We’ve been reared to believe that there is this solid, true world, one which religious leaders, politicians or scientists, maybe, are able to explain to us and translate for us.  We’ve been buffeted for centuries with the words of our ‘elders and betters’ who tell us what to believe – what is true.

Suddenly, though – just within our own short lifetimes – ALL of their truths have been gathered together in one place and we have been given almost unlimited access to the whole lot.  We press a couple of buttons on our devices and we have our very own comparison site.  We can see the inconsistencies, the bias, the spin.  Does this help us to see to the core?  Can we now, with all that information laid bare before us, peel away the layers of the onion?  Can we search for the truth at its centre?

English: Photograph of actor Henrik Klausen as...

Henrik Ibsen had his character Peer Gynt do exactly that.  Here’s what he discovered:

What an enormous number of swathings!
Isn’t the kernel soon coming to light?

(Pulls the whole onion to pieces.)

I’m blest if it is! To the innermost centre,
it’s nothing but swathings – each smaller and smaller.-
Nature is witty!

So if there’s no objective reality – no nub of truth at the centre – just what we create for ourselves, let’s create something fantastic.

 

 

Back on the Giants’ Shoulders

I hadn’t meant to clamber back up here – I’m not actually that good with heights – but a whole crowd more giants just came along and I can’t resist.  The view from this lofty location is amazing!

I’ll start aloft the shoulders of John Milton.  I first encountered him when I was about 15:  Paradise Lost, book something-or-the-other as an exam text.  Wild, rambling, epic 17th century poem!  I kind of forgave Milton for being a harsh, narrow-minded religious fundamentalist who bullied his daughters when I started to dig below the surface of his work.  For a start, his Adam was an insufferable prude, while Eve was as wet as washday.  Satan, on the other hand, was deliciously complex and rather likeable.  I decided that Milton, like many of his contemporaries who had survived Civil War torn England and its dangerous aftermath, had a public face and a private mind.  What clinched it for me though was when I decided to read the rest of Paradise Lost – the bit our teacher said we needn’t bother with.

Satan on his way to bring about the downfall o...

Satan on his way to bring about the downfall of Adam. Gustave Doré’s illustration for Paradise Lost by John Milton. 

 

  • The secrets of the hoary deep, a dark
  • Illimitable ocean, without bound,
  • Without dimension; where length, breadth, and height,
  • And time, and place, are lost; where eldest night
  • And chaos, ancestors of nature, hold
  • Eternal anarchy, amidst the noise
  • Of endless wars, and by confusion stand.
  • For hot, cold, moist, and dry, four champions fierce,
  • Strive here for mastery, and to battle bring
  • Their embryon atoms

 

That description of  ‘outer space’, with all its seething, pulsing energy filled me with excitement.  It was so different to the sterile void of which our science teachers sought to convince us.  I decided this was the universe I preferred to inhabit – one where anything and everything could happen.

And so the scene was set.  I had my raw material.  All I needed now was to understand the process by which order could be imposed on the seething ether and those ’embrion atoms’ which held the potential to bring forth our cosmos.

English: nikola tesla color

A short pause while I wobble unsteadily and clamber onto the rather suave shoulders of Nikola Tesla.  His mind had been running along similar lines, but in an intellectual sphere way beyond my own.  Look on his words (from the New York Times, 1908), ye Mighty, and tremble…

“According to an adopted theory, every ponderable atom is differentiated from a tenuous fluid, filling all space merely by spinning motion, as a whirl of water in a calm lake. By being set in movement this fluid, the ether, becomes gross matter. Its movement arrested, the primary substance reverts to its normal state. It appears, then, possible for man through harnessed energy of the medium and suitable agencies for starting and stopping ether whirls to cause matter to form and disappear. At his command, almost without effort on his part, old worlds would vanish and new ones would spring into being.”

Right.  So that gives me the process.  Next I need to locate the ‘suitable agencies’ Tesla speaks of.  I’m drawn to some words from my gigantic friend William’s recently published book.  He makes an astounding claim which seems eerily close to Tesla’s, though coming from an unexpected direction:

Nederlands: zelf gemaakte foto

An experienced and sufficiently enlightened user could use a pair of dowsing rods to achieve anything one desires.   The rods can harness power from crystals and ley lines as well as any other energy source including pure psychic energy. The rods can alter the subatomic structure of the universe. They can provide interaction with different dimensions. They can provide the user with unlimited knowledge. They can alter events occurring all around the universe. If a user has accumulated enough experience and skill with dowsing rods they could have influence over all of space and time.

Now two of my giants are promising limitless creative experience if this energy is harnessed by an ‘experienced and sufficiently enlightened user’.  There always seems to be a catch, doesn’t there?

Perhaps I need some hard scientific credentials here, so I’ll crawl across to the sturdy shoulders of Max Planck – just about the most solid and respectable theoretical physicist you could hope to find.  (I was in the same form at school as his great-nephew, as it happens.  It was bizarre – a little like finding yourself in the same class as Harry Potter on your first day at Hogwarts.  None of us could understand why the classroom door kept swinging open during our first week, as members of the teaching staff would poke their heads around it and hiss at our form tutor, “Which one is he?  Just had to take a look.”)

Anyhow, what does Herr Planck have to say on the matter of atoms and their creation?  He wrote this in Florence, in 1944, a few years before his death:

Dr. Max Planck

As a man who has devoted his whole life to the most clear headed science, to the study of matter, I can tell you as a result of my research about atoms this much:  There is no matter as such.  All matter originates and exists only by virtue of a force which brings the particle of an atom to vibration and holds this most minute solar system of the atom together.  We must assume behind this force the existence of a conscious and intelligent mind.  This mind is the matrix of all matter.

Ah.  So we are closer still.  Imposed upon our seething mass of ether is a matrix – one which is conscious and intelligent.  Is this Consciousness some supreme creator or does it, potentially at least, emanate from ourselves?  Those who have read my book will know that I consider the two to be one and the same, at different fractal scales.  Just as Planck’s atoms are fractal solar systems, so are we fractal Source/All That Is.  It is consciousness which is the missing component in Milton’s chaotic ether.  It is consciousness which begins Tesla’s spinning motion or wields Will’s dowsing rods.

These ideas are familiar – astonishingly so.  They have been bombarding my mind via other sources for several weeks now.  Everywhere I look or listen, it seems, the revelations of my giants have echoes.

Has Atxero (for example) been clambering around atop these same giants, I wonder, or are we simply accessing the same ‘knowing’ within our all-seeing matrix?  In her latest, amazing blog post she speaks of

…an invisible energy moving through the universe in the wake of which everything comes into existence and everything spirals around onward …  If we consider that that invisible energy is Consciousness (like, mother of all consciousness) that is also an intention set in motion … so lets say the mind of the Universe had the urge to create something and in wake of this urge the Universe was created. (I am considering the Universe to be alive, complete with the soul and mind and body and the whole package, where each of the existing material bodies as even planets, galaxies or human bodies … just like we have cells in our body). That that invisible energy is the life force of the Universe.

So how, exactly, do we control it? I hear you ask.  How do we spin that ether and create in the way your giants have promised we can?

I think I have the answer.  I need to consider for a few days more, though, to sort the ideas into words.  So forgive me for leaving so suddenly.  All the information we need is here, but it’s been hiding in the one place scientists would never think of looking.

Can you find it? 🙂

 

 

On the Shoulders of Giants?

Quick trawl through the internet to find the derivation of that idea:

English: Coat of arms of Sir Isaac Newton Espa...

Coat of arms of Sir Isaac Newton

Well Isaac Newton, yes.  I knew that one.  With typical modesty he wrote of his work to Robert Hooke in 1676, saying, “If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.”
Not original though.  Newton apparently found the metaphor in the writings of one John of Salisbury – a twelfth century author and theologian who rose from Anglo Saxon roots (not easy in Norman-dominated England in the early 1100’s) to become Bishop of Chartres.

Impressive.

Still not original, though, for John was quoting Bernard, a colleague of his at Chartres, who was the chancellor of the cathedral school there in 1124.

Chartres Cathedral; Fresneau worked at the cho...

Chartres Cathedral(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Here, via John, via Wikipedia, is Bernard’s idea:

Bernard of Chartres used to say that we [the Moderns] are like dwarves perched on the shoulders of giants [the Ancients], and thus we are able to see more and farther than the latter. And this is not at all because of the acuteness of our sight or the stature of our body, but because we are carried aloft and elevated by the magnitude of the giants.

At this point I could easily waffle off into an appreciation of said Bernard.  Hadn’t come across him before, but I was rather taken by some of his philosophical ideas.  I’ll resist the urge for now, though.  I want to get back to those giants.

Let me start by making it plain that the ones Bernard was referring to were almost certainly classical philosophers – Neo-Platonists by the look of it.  The ‘magnitude’ he spoke of was intellectual rather than physical.

The giants I’d like to meet have left a more cryptic legacy.  Sadly, Wikipedia won’t be able to help me to reach them.

Popular culture has two very different views of our far-distant ancestors.  Firstly there is ‘Stone Age Man’ – and Woman, obviously.  Anthropologists will lead us back through fossilised bones, carefully carbon-dated, belonging to African ancestors clutching lumps of stone and animal bone, and beyond them back to tree-dwelling ape-like beings.  Wind the clock back still further and our ancestors are seen crawling from the seas and originating in a potent slime on a planet poised to bring forth life.

The second concept of the Ancients, though, is as different from the above as could be imagined.  Instead of our modern, technologically advanced society being viewed as the pinnacle of an evolutionary process, we look back to the Giants – the ancestors who held knowledge and yes, even technology which would put ours to shame.

Topographic/bathymetric map of the Indian Ocea...

They could be another, now-extinct species whose flowering ceased in one of those cataclysms caused by comets, say, or volcanoes, leaving only tantalising remnants – physical giants with huge bones or strangely elongated skulls, hidden away in museum vaults by those who fear spoiling the story.

Perhaps they are our own ancestors – people like us who evolved to reach a golden age in Mu or Atlantis before sinking, almost without trace…

They could be incomers from other stars, other dimensions: the gods perhaps – worshipped and depicted by our ancestors as they swooped down from high Olympus or interstellar craft to intervene in human affairs and perhaps human genetics before flying off and leaving us to find our own paths.  I have to admit to a personal preference for this story.  It seems to fit, and channelled sources are supporting it.  See, for example, this comment in answer to a recent query I put to the Guides who wish to be known as Higgins in Cheryl Jensen’s Ask Higgins blog:

There was a time when the race that created mankind lived alongside you and they taught your predecessors how to utilize the positive and negative energy of the Earth’s magnetic field

Whoever they were, their presence in our folk memory and mythology is persistent.  They are a very real part of our heritage.

We stand on their shoulders – you and I, Isaac, John, Bernard, his Greek philosophers and whoever inspired them…  Do we see further than they did, or are we elevating ourselves too high?

Should we climb down and search more carefully amongst the clues they left for us – the carvings and structures, folk tales and mythology, or trust that access to their knowledge lies within us all, if only we have the confidence to reach for it?

 

 

 

Suffering?

Refugee camp for Rwandans located in what is n...

A day or so ago, I had the following request from somebody I know and respect greatly:

“If you have ever wondered why there is so much suffering in the world and felt overwhelmed by it I would love to know how you moved on from that.”

This lady is going through a great deal of suffering of her own at the moment.  I’m awed that she has the time and energy to concern herself about the world’s suffering, when she already has plenty to contend with.  The least I can do is to offer her my own response and, given the news items and social media posts we are all seeing at the moment, I thought there might be a wider audience for my reply.

So what follows is very much my personal truth.  I’m not suggesting that anyone else should believe it or follow it, but if anything here feels right to you, by all means feel free to adopt whatever sounds helpful.

To start with, this is what I DON’T believe:

  • I don’t believe in The Devil or any of the ‘forces of evil’ humanity has enjoyed blaming for its problems through the ages.
  • I don’t believe in a vengeful or ‘just’ God who behaves like the worst sort of patriarchal Victorian father, setting up an impossibly high standard of expectations and punishing us for our sins when we fail to live up to them.
  • In fact I don’t believe in sin.
  • I don’t believe in Karma. In my truth, we are not here to atone for things we or the ancestors did ‘wrong’ either in this life or another.
  • I don’t believe humanity is intrinsically bad, wicked, cruel or evil.

Now for what I DO believe:

  • I believe that everyone – each single human being – does what feels and seems right to them, given their situation at the time.  If they are coming from a position of love, they will give, share, help and benefit the world around them in whatever way they choose.  If they are coming from a place of fear or want, they may bully, torture, attack or destroy; they may seek scapegoats (racial minorities, politicians, corporations, the rich, the poor…) to vent their anger and frustration on; they may believe themselves to be powerless and controlled by forces beyond their control.
  • I believe we create our own reality.  Yes, I’m still struggling with this one.  My ego keeps telling me there’s a solid, unchanging basic world here and I’m just a bit-part player who can’t do that much to change things.  Other sources tell me otherwise.  They tell me the keyboard I’m typing on is almost entirely empty space.  They tell me I have complete control over the world I’m living in and that I use my own energy – the power that comes from my thoughts and emotions – to create it.
  • I believe that every atom in the cosmos is a tiny holographic part of GOD.  That makes the universe a living, expanding, creative, vibrant web of which you and I and everyone and everything else out there is a vital and perfect part.
  • So yes, I believe that we – individually and collectively – have tremendous power and are able to form our own reality, by focussing our energy where we choose.
  • I believe that ‘I’ (in the eternal soul sense) chose to be born and to have this particular life, with all its attendant heartbreaks, terrors and difficulties, because that’s what being a human is all about – just like the computer game I used as an analogy in my book.  We all select a storyline beset with puzzles, problems and difficulties in order to find ways to solve and overcome them, to bring love to them and to expand as the divine beings that we really are.  The bigger the problems, the greater the opportunities for growth and expansion – for ‘spreading the love’ if you like.  As Kahlil Gibran said, “Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.”
  • I believe I’m not acting alone; there is infinite help available from the cosmos.  Whether we call this help god, goddess, saints, angels, spirit, guides, nature or muse is irrelevant.  We can interpret and visualise it any way we like, but it is real and there for us, always and all ways.
  • I believe this is tough to grasp and work with, because we’ve just emerged from around 2500 years of giving our power away and expecting others to solve the world’s (and our) problems, while we sit subserviently and wring our hands in despair.

English: Job's Sons and Daughters Overwhelmed ...

Several people have asked me recently why I don’t feel bitter towards those in my life who have caused me suffering on a personal level.  It’s because I know that at some level, I consciously drew those experiences to myself.  They didn’t feel good at the time; they hurt like mad.  It’s those experiences, though, and the ways I finally found to work through them, which have made me the person I am today.  And I haven’t finished growing yet.

So to answer the lady’s question (finally!) I do see the suffering in the world and yes, I could easily become overwhelmed by it, on a personal and a global level.  However I can make choices as to where I put my energy.  I choose to put it into feeling positive, because that helps to ‘grow’ more positivity.  I choose, in my very small way, to spread hope and light and love, because – according to my truth – I am a holographic spark of God and that means I am powerful enough to change the world.  So, of course, are you.

 

PS  A dear and wise friend reminded me yesterday of Anita Moorjani’s amazing story.  In case anyone reading this is interested, click here for her Ted Talk: Dying to Live.  It explains with far more eloquence than I can muster the relationship between life and suffering.

 

The Writing on My Wall

Glastonbury Tor

Glastonbury Tor (Photo credit: Nick Kenrick .)

 

Over the next few posts, I’ve decided to share some of the words that are pinned up on my study wall.

 

This is the room where I do my writing, plan my lessons and tutor some of my students, so it’s a special place where much of my waking life is spent.  The window looks out onto a northern roof-scape of Glastonbury, with St Edmunds Hill towards the west and – if you know where to look – St Michael’s Tower (the one on top of Glastonbury Tor) just visible above treetops over to the east.

 

Above the door there’s a small metal sign, bearing the word:

 

INSPIRE

 

That’s to remind me what I’m here to do.  It’s what living, educating and writing are all about.

 

Ranged around the walls are other texts from various sources, which have shaped my thinking – and consequently my life.

Today I’m going to share a passage written by a fellow Glastonbury resident – a mystic and visionary who, among other things, created the trust which still runs the beautiful Chalice Well Gardens – my number one favourite place in the world.

His words, having been written in the early twentieth century, pre-date our rather wafty New Age terminology, but the sentiment is clear, and his uncompromising words have helped me to take stock and refocus when doubts and worries have threatened to take over.

 

Pennies from heaven

The importance of positive, constructive, optimistic thinking all day long cannot be over-estimated.  The fight on which you and I are constantly engaged is against the so-called forces of fear, depression, self-centredness and frustration.  Bar your gates against these negative forces as the first step towards making yourself and your life of greater service to others.

Wellesley Tudor Pole

 

 

 

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A Brief History of Truth

light body

For many decades, a great number of people have expended energy trying to tell me the truth.

People get so worked up about truth – cling to it, evangelise about it, live by it and die by it.  I think I’m fairly relaxed about mine.  It isn’t as if it’s going anywhere or I need to prove it to anyone.    It just sits, very comfortably inside me as I go about my life.  When I die, I’ll simply take it with me, because it fits there too.

My truth has changed over the years – that’s what the life experience is all about, after all; it allows us to consider and hone and reshape our truth.

I’m going to run through the evolution of my truth in this post, not because I think it’s better than anyone else’s, but because it’s there, and may provide you with a useful comparison for your own.

As a little child, I started with a truth I’d been given by those around me.  It never felt quite right, but when you’re small, you are told to accept what adults tell you, because they know best.  This truth said that if I was ‘good’, I’d go to a place called Heaven when I died, but if I was bad, something not-so-good would happen.  The adults were a bit hazy about that side of things, but I was left in no doubt that it was in my best interests to be good.

I dumped that truth, finally, when I was about 12.  I’m not saying it’s wrong.  It’s a truth that serves millions of people all over the planet.  It just isn’t my truth.

My next truth was a direct result, I suppose, of growing up in the sixties.  Like many of my contemporaries, I became interested in Eastern religions.  I recognised the truth of reincarnation.  I adopted the truth of tit-for-tat karma.  My truth became a desire to build ‘good’ karma for the future and, when I saw people around me behaving in ways I considered to be bad, I’d tell myself they were storing up bad karma and would have to work through that, either in this life or the next.

It took me a few decades to drop that truth.  Again, it serves many, many people, and that’s just fine, but it isn’t my truth.

My next truth could be described as a more nebulous ‘New Age’ way of thinking – ‘What goes around comes around’.  It involved being as pleasant as possible, in the hope that  good deeds would return to me in spadefuls if I hung on for a bit.

English: Santa Claus with a little girl Espera...

Perhaps you’ll have noticed the Santa link in all these truths?  In their various ways, they come back to the same idea – there is ‘good’ and ‘bad’ behaviour.  In some way or another the good behaviour will be rewarded, while probably the badly behaved among us will meet their comeuppance somehow, even if the righteous don’t get the satisfaction of watching it happen.

Maybe it helped that I worked for so many years in that crystal clear microcosm of life, the primary school.  Behaviour there was clearly and rigidly divided into good and bad.  There were rewards and punishments aplenty.  If anything should have convinced me of those truths I’d rejected, surely it was this place.

The trouble was, I didn’t see any ‘bad’ behaviour.

English: Bullying on IRFE in March 5, 2007, th...

Oh I saw acts of vandalism, bullying, emotional cruelty, violence and plenty of blaspheming on a frequent basis, but every single one of the perpetrators was acting from what seemed to them a reasonable viewpoint.  Their behaviour represented the best they could manage, given their experience and outlook.

People bullied, because others had bullied them and it felt like the only way to gain any semblance of self-worth. (Note that I’m not saying it was a ‘good’ way to act, just that it was the best they could manage at that stage in their lives.)

People swore because it provided a release for feelings – ones which might otherwise have resulted in physical damage.

People attacked property as a way of ex-pressing (pressing out of their bodies) frustration and unhappiness.

They attacked others – verbally, emotionally or physically because they couldn’t find any other ways of releasing the emotions seething within themselves.

Many a child ‘acting up’ in my classes was astounded to hear me say, “I’m sorry.  I know you are trying your best to get me to order you out of the classroom.
“I know it’s because you’re desperate to avoid the task I’ve set you.  I understand that you’re frightened you might fail and be laughed at by the others, or told off by me.
“The trouble is, I need you to stay here and master this skill, if I’m to do my job properly. So if the other children will promise to honour your efforts, and if I promise to support you, please will you put the chair down and come and have a try at the work?  You’ll feel so much better when you’ve managed it.”

Throughout our lives, we ALL come up against situations and make the best choices we can, given the circumstances surrounding us.

That leads to my truth as it currently stands.  There is no ‘good’ or ‘bad’.  I have no right to judge the behaviour of others.  I will make choices that feel like the best choices to me at that time.  So will all my fellow humans.  In that way, I will constantly be gaining experience – which is why I’m here – and so will they.

When I end this physical incarnation, I will have the opportunity to add the experience from this lifetime to that of all my other lives.  This will be valuable and will expand my being.  Should I wish to gain some different experiences, I will be free to start a new incarnation and expand still further.

It works for me.